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Borrowing Rage

Since I met with the consultant last fall, I’ve made a conscious effort to be a bit more pleasant, a little more positive, a little more upbeat.  Perhaps it was necessary and a good thing (one of the staff told me the other day that he described me to his wife as the “Dr. House” of the residential center.)  There has been, however, an unintended consequence of this effort to be more positive:  I don’t write as much, as often, or as well as when I’m a bit angry.

Now, maybe that’s all in my head, like the writer who thinks he can’t write unless he’s drinking, but a little bit of an edge seems to make a big difference.  It helps me focus.  This has been a growing concern, of late, as I have a lot of writing to do, and a significant portion of it is for work, so lack of focus actually has consequences (as opposed to writing for Ratlands, where lack of focus only means incoherent drivel and days without posts.)  The problem is that when you make a concerted effort not to be pissed off at the whole world, it’s kind of hard to turn on some anger when you need to write a policy or have a few thoughts you want to work into an essay.

My solution, is Trent Reznor.  I’ve been listening to NIN’s With Teeth pretty much non-stop for the last week.  It seems to be working, at least for now.  I suppose there’s a ton of Industrial Rock out there which would serve the same purpose, but I don’t really care for the ubiquitous screaming.  The cool part of borrowing some rage in this way is that when I’m done writing, I can always listen to some Zero 7 or something.

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