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Machine guns affect my performance

I used to write down quotes on little pieces of paper and note cards.  (For you younger readers, that was in the days before “cut and paste” and bookmarking websites.  Yes, I’m that old.)  The title of this post is a quote from Rico Tubbs in the original Miami Vice TV show.  (Yes, it was a TV show before it was a movie.)  It also has absolutely nothing to do with the post.

I’m killing a few minutes before I go to work tonight.  I’m supposed to be there at 1:00 AM to take care of some issues.  I’ve been thinking a bit today about my inability to focus on “big ideas” and have come to the conclusion that I’ve just been involved in a sort of mindless pursuit of mindlessness.  It’s all just a way to not deal with the sense of being overwhelmed by the magnitude of work and other personal issues.  It’s mostly escapism, and when in the middle of such a frame of mind, critical thinking about the world at large just isn’t an option.

Tonight, on the other hand, I seem to be experiencing a bit of clarity.  The ideas are flowing and there are a couple of essays taking shape in my head.  Of course, none of it will get written down because I have to be at work in 30 minutes.  And tomorrow night when I finally get home, I will probably be too tired to do anything about it.  I don’t mind the 20 hour days.  It’s the 4 hour nights that grind me down.

So, I guess I’ve just written another 3 paragraphs to explain why I won’t be writing anything…

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