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In which Cziltang the Ratbastard incurs greivous bodily injury because of a bulimic cat

OK.  So the title is probably more interesting than the story and the extent of my injuries is exaggerated.  So sue me.  The bulimic cat part is for real.

The Head Rat’s little cat is spoiled rotten.  She gets a cat treat first thing in the morning.  She gets a cat treat if she plays fetch.  She gets a cat treat if shakes (yeah, I taught her to shake paws like a dog).  Sometimes she get cat treats for no apparent reason.  Lately the Head Rat has taken to giving her a little spoon of canned cat food at night as an extra treat along with her regular dry food.  She sits in the kitchen an yowls for her canned cat food every time you go to the kitchen.  I don’t usually feed her the canned stuff until I’m finished downstairs for the evening.  If you feed her earlier, she just yowls for more. The cat scarfs food down like a vacuum cleaner, which I guess isn’t all that surprising, given that when she was a kitten we had two big cats and she had to make the most of her opportunities.

Anyway, the past few nights, she has been eating the canned food and then snarfing up the dry food.  Apparently she is eating too much, as she then throws up sometime in the night.  This feline pathology of binge and purge would be curious and annoying if it weren’t for the fact that she never throws up in the same place.  As I am only marginally conscious, at best, when I head downstairs for caffeine in the morning, I sometimes discover the cat barf with my feet.  (I’m not sure which is worse, cold cat barf or warm cat barf.)

This morning when I stepped in the cat barf, I tried to pick up the “discovery foot”, lost my balance, fell and twisted my ankle, at which time, the cat started yowling for canned cat food.  As I sat on the floor with warm, gooey cat barf between the toes of one foot and a sprained ankle on the other I thought fondly of that old Monty Python routine where there is a talent show and a contestant with a cat named Tiddles.  The host asks what Tiddles does.  The man replies that the cat will fly through the air and land in a bucket of water.  The host asks if Tiddles does this by herself, and the man says “No, I fling her.”

{ 1 } Comments

  1. Ken BuchananNo Gravatar | August 23, 2008 at 5:28 am | Permalink

    Yeah… kitties can make you crazy sometimes. Check this out:

    http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/story?id=1299317

    Problem solved! Next time it happens you can toss the kitty and blame it on the voices in your head! 😉

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