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Stimulate me

(via Three Sources) Reason Magazine has a personal stimulus generator.  I am happy to report I am apparently going to be stimulated.  You might want to get in on the action.  (My grant is below the fold…)

National Telecommunications and Information Administration

salaries and expenses

    For an additional amount for `Salaries and Expenses’, $350,000,000, to remain available until September 30, 2011: Provided, That funds shall be available to establish the State Broadband Data and Development Grant Program, as authorized by Public Law 110-385, for the development and implementation of statewide initiatives to identify and track the availability and adoption of broadband services within each State, and to develop and maintain a nationwide broadband inventory map, as authorized by section 6001 of division B of this Act.

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to cziltang for the cziltang Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

    For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $2,978,463.27 shall be paid directly to cziltang in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by cziltang to train unemployed auto workers to convert left-handed froolaps to ambidextrous froolaps or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That cziltang will receive free Widespread Panic tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That cziltang shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Barbara Boxer is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

digital-to-analog converter box program

    Notwithstanding any other provision of law, and in addition to amounts otherwise provided in any other Act, for costs associated with the Digital-to-Analog Converter Box Program, $650,000,000, to be available until September 30, 2009: Provided, That these funds shall be available for coupons and related activities, including but not limited to education, consumer support and outreach, as deemed appropriate and necessary to ensure a timely conversion of analog to digital television.

{ 1 } Comments

  1. Rat jr.No Gravatar | February 16, 2009 at 7:33 pm | Permalink

    Here’s mine ^.^

    wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

    (including transfer of funds to Crimson Lantern for the Crimson Lantern Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

    For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $50,000.00 shall be paid directly to Crimson Lantern in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Crimson Lantern to Starting a small buisness or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Crimson Lantern will receive free Gackt tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Crimson Lantern shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Clinton, Hillary is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

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